Thank you To those who broke me

Recently, I’ve been going through a new part of my life. I’ve been living on my own for two months now. My friends have moved away for the summer while I work. My best friends graduated college. And new people have started to come into my life. 

So maybe not so new, perhaps a little different, is a better way to put it. But, with all of that said, whenever things change in my life, I tend to look toward my past and think about the things that happened. The people who hurt me. And I’ve recently realized that the people who left me with hurt and anger and scars, deserve a thank you. How ridiculous that must sound to you? As I typed it, I realized it’s a little silly. But, it’s true. 

So thank you, to my ex-best friend. We shared a million and one memories and we planned on friends forever. This was not meant to be. I do not thank you for the way you left, I thank you for what it taught me. You taught me to stand on my own two feet. You taught me that even the people I rely on most will not always be there to catch me when I fall. You taught me that people change and forever is not always an option. Though, I still hope in these things, I no longer expect them. 

Thank you to the boys who broke my heart. Again and again I believed in you. But, you lied. I was just another girl that you kept around to bring yourself up. So, you said just the right things to make me fall for you. Until, you were done or found someone better. I cried and I asked God why. I tried to understand where I went wrong! How I could have done things differently! It took me a long time to realize that it wasn’t. My. Fault. It was you. So, thank you. Thank you for breaking my heart, because now I know I can survive it. Thank you for teaching me to realize the difference between a line and the truth. A thought came to me, do you even realize you’re lying anymore? Or are you just so good at it that even you believe it for a time? Thank you for teaching me that long distance cannot work for an extended amount of time. Thank you for helping me to realize that I deserve the world, not just a boy that talks about it. And, best of all, you taught me to be independent. I finally realized that wanting and needing someone in your life, are two separate things. So, thank you for breaking my heart. You showed me I am so much better than that.

To everyone else

Thank you for teaching me that everything changes and that I have to accept that. Thank you for showing me that people are always temporary and that God is the only one that will always be there. Thank you for teaching me to look and listen before I trust. And, to listen to my mind over my heart at times. Thank you for the times where I felt like I would never be okay again, because without those I wouldn’t be me. 

Thank you to those who broke me, because I’m much better off without you.