Too Late

She sat across from him trying not to tremble as the words escaped her lips.

“B, I can’t do this.” The words came out like a rocket before she could lose her courage. There. I said it. I can’t do THIS anymore. But, in her heart of hearts she knew she still cared.

“What do you mean you can’t do this?” His voice held an indifferent accusation. Her heart thudded as she heard her  own response. 

“I can’t do this. I can’t keep myself feeling insignificant next to you just because it makes you feel important.” Her courage grew, “I can’t just wait for you to decide that I’m worth the time and effort to be with. I mean, do you even realize or see how you regard me, B?” Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes. His gaze faultered and he glanced up at the sky and then the ground.

“I just don’t think this is going to work.” The fear in his voice and face gave him away. She felt him pulling farther and farther away and it hurt. And she knew exactly why he did it.

“You’re afraid!” Her frustration bellowed before she could control it. “You’re afraid and you won’t admit it. You don’t understand the what ifs and the feeling and so you run because you’re headstrong and  would rather be alone than feel the what ifs.” Her heart felt as though it would explode until a strange sense of calm engulfed her. “You’ll realize it eventually,” she said. “Even if it takes you a while. You will realize that I’m the best most terrifying thing that could ever happen to you.” She turned to go, then stopped as he spoke up.

“I already regret it.”

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