I just feel numb. Every inch of me. My body, my mind, my heart. Everything is clouding and I have no clue why. My chest feels heavy and my mind has gone blank. I can’t think straight. I’m struggling to breathe. I know I’ll be okay. I know it will pass. It just takes time… But, oh, right now I’m in pain. I hate these moments, dread them. They come at the most inopportune times. When I need to get something done. When I’m finally happy. When something starts to go right. And then the numbness. I can’t feel anything. The stress and frustration disappear all at once. But so does my drive. My stubbornness. My happiness. The smile that finally crept across my face. And it stays. It lingers. And the weight grows for a time. How do you make this pass? Am I forgetting some magic word?
I need to breathe soon.