Keep Bleeding

I have been broken. I have been stabbed. I have been lied to. I feel like a rug has been pulled out from under me. For the past six months everything that has happened, everyone that I trusted, and everything that I thought was sure in my life has collapsed around me as I watched helpless to do anything but watch in a total state of despair and heartache. How can everything go from perfect happiness, and contentment — finally believing in things again — to standing under the rubble of what used to be my life and slowly realizing that no one can hear my calls for help. No one can hear me. No one is going to help me. I am on my own. God is here, waiting for me to reach out to Him. But, I am struggling to reach. I can’t think straight. My mind clouds when I try to reach and then I fail. I fall short. He is there but I cannot reach Him. I know that I am causing this myself, not being able to take His hand. I just hope that one day these shadows will clear. That my mind will heal. That my hand can be taken in His. But until then my world is still collapsing. I still can’t breathe.
original post date: July 13, 2014

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