I feel like I am disappointing you. I don’t mean to and I don’t want to. I love you, always and forever. But, I don’t want to feel guilty for the decisions that I make on my own. You were gone, and I needed something, anything, to make the pain go away. Disappointing you is the last thing that I want to do in this world. I trust you, I need for you to trust me too. I need for you to support my decisions. I need for us to be okay. So, please, just don’t leave me. Don’t hurt me. Please, don’t forget what we have.
I feel like my chest is going to explode, this load won’t lift. The weight won’t fall. It just grows. More and more, everyday. I’m crying for help. Is there anyway out from behind this wall blocking me from the light at the end of the tunnel? Is there anyone on the other side that can save me?
original post date: March 14, 2012